I was struck by several conversations I had this summer with friends new and old about the state of our field today. Depending on your opinions, there are pros and cons to working in America vs England, like differences in remuneration, resources, liturgy and repertoire, traditions and history, architecture and acoustics, instruments, and more. As they say, the grass tends to appear greener on the other side! I have friends on both sides of the Atlantic who have burned out, sometimes directly from working for the church, rather than in secular music. These people are hugely talented musicians, and while they still love the repertoire and the tradition, the Episcopal Church or the Church of England or whoever it is has left them unsupported in critical areas. I can observe how some of these people who have transitioned to new career paths are happier; they have nights and weekends free like “normal” people, and they can choose to make music how and when they want, rather than resenting whatever set-up they may have known previously. I find it very sad that the church has failed these people, and I hope that those who have power in these institutions are able to sort out why this is a persistent and recurring problem for so many, and how to better address it. The complex webs of compassionate management, combined with pastoral care, combined with financial prudence and the maintenance of and caring for historic buildings, are a lot to juggle. On top of that, several denominations are taking their sweet time to commit to stances on various social issues; I find it hard to work for an institution that officially stands against some of my own personal views. However, I am not burnt out yet, and I still have perhaps naive hope that working for the church can be a choice that is rewarding and fulfilling, in the long run.
After bingeing an embarrassing number of Sex and the City episodes on the flight from London to Atlanta a few days ago, I arrived back to my own country, where climate change looms ever nearer with more frequent natural disasters, and politics are more fraught than ever. My first obligation at work the day I got back was to attend a training on how to react to active shooter threats. What a juxtaposition from my time in the UK! And while I adored seeing Oppenheimer, the threat of warfare and nuclear destruction is certainly still “a thing” for all of us in the world today. It all seems rather grim. I think for myself, I will aim to stay sane by throwing myself into music; I have a few recitals coming up this season that give me the chance to re-work dormant repertoire and learn new pieces, and I will try to hold on to what got me hooked on choral and organ music in the first place. As my hair begins to gray and a new decade looms imminently in a couple of months’ time, my feelings from this summer: of belonging, of inspiration, of affirmation, and of collegiality, should help keep my spirits high as I return from summer mode to the “real world.”